Sensory Overload.

Lately DP and I have been struggling with BP and, at times, I get so overwhelmed with the information I am consuming that I forget the real little girl under all the labels.

BP is bright, funny, smart, witty, stubborn, beautiful, silly, opinionated, sweet, and an awesome big sister. She makes us laugh when she delights in the little things that make the world go round. She sweetly brings us flowers she picked from the yard, only to demand that we don't touch them and especially not let little sis touch them. She sings songs, colors pictures, and begs to read books. She drives us crazy saying she "looks soooo saaaaad" whenever we tell her no. She has special things that she only wants to do with daddy-wrestling, hiding under the covers, and she loves to go to work with him while he studies on the weekends. Even through her charming personality we can see her inner confusion with the world.

BP appears to struggle with sensory processing disorder/sensory integration dysfunction. Some days are fine. Others, not so much. BP is terrified of bathroom fans and any other fan-type noise. She just recently got over her fear of swinging. She doesn't like to play with other kids, unless, of course, it's her best friend or my daycare child. It took insane amounts of coaxing, bribing, and reasoning to get her to fingerpaint. New situations send her into a panic. If she has had a bad sensory day we are almost guaranteed a night-waking full of screams and panic. Yet, with all these quirks, she still appears "normal" to the average innocent bystander.

During her two assessments BP showed off her talents stringing beads, building tall block towers, and doing puzzles. She loved showing off how smart she is and was thrilled to be the center of attention. Of course, it took half of our session just to get her to stop hiding behind me, but overall, she did amazing. This was both a proud-mommy moment and a "well, now what?" moment. Her testing shows that her sensory defensiveness is not affecting (effecting?) her ability to learn. That is great news..until you throw her in a classroom setting and she melts down, hides, refuses to participate, and is terrified in general.

This is the battle I fight. Do I burst with pride knowing that in most areas of development my baby girl is well above average? Yes. Do I worry that her social/emotional skill level is way below average? Yes. Do I obsessively read, research, and harrass anyone who I think can help me? Yes. Do I get completely overwhelmed by information, or sometimes the lackthereof? Yes. Do I love my child completely, regardless of her ability to exasperate me to no end? YES.

And now I must say farewell and so long. It is time to call our service coordinator with yet another question.