Olympics

Chris is a big fan of the Olympics. I even caught him watching table tennis. Table tennis, really? Like in Forrest Gump? Ping pong? How do you get into a sport like that? At an olympic level? Apparently speed walking is also an Olympic sport. Weird, huh? My friend Erin's mom should totally start training, she's a kickass speed walker. Anyway. I, too, was enjoying the Olympics, table tennis and all, until the other night when beach volleyball was on.

Let me tell you two things about beach volleyball:

1. The chicks wear tight white bikinis and look completely awesome.

2. The guys wear shorts and tank tops. And you can't tell if they look completely awesome or not. I mean, seeing as how they are athletes (just as the ping pong players are) they probably look completely awesome, but you can't tell because of the tank tops.

Let me tell you two things about the previous two things:

1. Watching hot chicks jump around in tight white bikinis is NOT a good past-time if you are 9 months pregnant and as big, or quite possibly bigger than, a cow. Even the cheesecake won't make it seem any better.

2. It would be a much better deal for everyone involved if the men were wearing less clothing. I'm not saying they, too, should be in tight white bikinis, but I wouldn't argue with them losing the tank tops. It would put things on an even keel. At least in my house.

Another interesting fact I learned about the Olympics is that for some reason, athletes seem to be convinced that they won't get caught using steroids. I read an article saying that some shooter was disqualified for using steroids (just what we need, a guy with a gun using 'roids) as well as a gymnast. The gymnast was in last place prior to being disqualified. I'm thinking those steroids probably didn't do her any good. And, while I'm on the topic of gymnastics, I'll jump on the "The Chinese are Cheaters" bandwagon. I understand that gymnasts look way younger than they are; my younger sister was an elite gymnast so I know about these things. BUT, really? That one girl looks 12. Which would put her, in gymnast years, about about 14.5 years old. I'm not buying it.

Now I will go back to watching a true sport: swimming. Where the men show much more skin than the women. And, just for the record, Michael Phelps' diet makes mine look wimpy. In case you were wondering.