idiots in the news.

The news really sucks lately. Here are some awesome headlines in my local news:


Tahoe woman petitions over concern about coyotes.
You live in the FOREST. Your little rat dog was probably just an appetizer to the coyotes who moved in long before you did. I'm sorry you lost your dog, but come on. Move back to the city.

Man accused of beating woman to death after being denied cigarette.
I will not comment on this story because I'm trying not to swear. And the only words I can use to describe this guy are swear words.

Sparks police arrest man who allegedly shot at officers, partygoers, Sunday morning.
Surprisingly, this man did not actually shoot anyone. It sounds like he put out a hell of an effort, but luckily his aim is about as good as mine.

Police seek suspect who stabbed juvenile in downtown Reno.
Not just any juvenile, a 13-year old. Who was walking with a 14-year old. I'm not going to pass judgement as to why they were in that part of downtown but I will happily pass judgement on the guy who stabbed the kid. Did I add that he stabbed him in the back? Literally. Way to go tough guy, stab an unsuspecting, unarmed kid in the back. Definitely proves your toughness and worth. Hope you got into the gang.

And some people are just plain idiots. Yes, I'm talking about the Balloon Boy hoax. These people sound totally awesome. And sane. And like great parents. "After we get done driving into this tornado with our kids unbuckled in the backseat of our car, let's go home and teach them about lying to the police!" "Great idea, honey!" D-bags.

I also just read about Target's "Illegal alien" costume and how people are outraged over it. It's a COSTUME. Sure, it might be mildly offensive to some people, but it's for Halloween, a time when everyone gets into ridiculous costumes and demands candy. Get over it.