Marriage

I think I just realized about 37 minutes ago that Chris and I are very different and that's an okay thing. I mean, two of me would be hell. No one could survive that. What brought this realization you ask? Golf. Yes, golf.

Chris likes to golf on the weekends. In my pregnant, over-reacting state, I take this as "I really can't stand to be around you all weekend long so I am going to go drink beer and golf instead." Now, I do realize that this is NOT true, I just tend to react before thinking. So, I put my guard up, pout, and become even more emotional than usual-something that yesterday I would have told you wasn't possible. We tip-toed around each other last night and this morning, but finally had The Discussion during C's lunch break.

I see him golfing as wanting to golf rather than spend time with Alexa and I (can you really blame the guy?). Really, he just likes to golf for a few hours. I would probably do the same thing if I liked golf. So, when we can some day afford to buy another horse, I will probably be the one escaping for a few hours. Until that day, Chris will golf and Alexa and I will feed the ducks and dream about horses.

I also feel guilty spending "extra" money, even if it's on something we need (sheets, for example). I think that guilt came along at about 12:35am on July 28. Somehow, becoming a mom changed my spending. Yes, I'm still the impulse shopper that salesmen prey upon, but my impulse buys tend to be splurges for Alexa or for the house, not for me. But, for the most part, the guilt keeps my spending in check. I'll keep my $50 hair cuts (which I obviously don't get every week, or even every other week) and Chris can keep his $40 golf games.

Will I ever stop taking things, such as golfing, personally? No. Well, maybe. I guess we'll find out when I'm not a bundle of pregnancy hormones. Will I make an effort? Yes. No maybes, yes. I will make an effort. I will realize that Chris and I are different. I will realize that just because he wants to do something he enjoys, it doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy his time with his family. Blowing the cotton out of the yard he might not enjoy, but watching Alex shriek in delight when he pretends to get blown away he does enjoy. And as long as we're both enjoying something, golf, horses, ducks, or haircuts, we'll be fine. After all, two of me really would be hell.